Communication is key to trust in a relationship. A trust that is established through respect and that, on the contrary, can sometimes be broken by the effects of an important lie. That is, a gesture of this type, sometimes, can break the trust consolidated so far, for example, an infidelity. However, there are lies of different characteristics and revealing the deception is not always easy. How to know if your partner is lying to you? In psychology, we give you all the keys and signs that will help you know if your partner is cheating on you.
How to know if your partner is lying to you? - 4 signals
Here are a series of signs that can help you know if your partner is lying to you:
- Discomfort in a long conversation on the subject hen you try to have a long conversation on this subject, the other person becomes uncomfortable and reduces the conversation to the expression of repeated phrases that do not leave room for argument.
- You have discovered previous lies: when you have already discovered several lies and despite the fact that he has promised that he will not lie to you again, you observe behaviors of this type again, you can conclude that this expected change in his behavior has not occurred.
- It tells you one thing and does the opposite: lies can have very different nuances. Sometimes they are presented in the format of broken expectations. This occurs when you experience the pain of a promise that did not materialize in practice. Does your partner say something that then does not comply in practice and falls into this error on a regular basis?
- Lack of clarity: when you ask him questions, he does not answer your question clearly. He wanders, tells unbelievable stories, and gives excessive weight to external factors rather than his own decision-making powers.
What to do when they lie to you
This is a personal decision, since it depends on the interpretation that you give to that lie, some people may consider that the concealment of certain information is a pious deception or that it does not matter.
A lie is a circumstance that conditions the relationship that the other person has with you, however, there may be an effect derived from this fact: that the lie also conditions the relationship you have with you when you deceive yourself. What can you do when they lie to you ?:
1. Face that conversation
If it is an important event for you, do not pretend nothing has happened. Face that conversation and do it as soon as possible so that there is a temporary relationship between the moment of the talk and the moment in which that event occurred. Otherwise, if you let time pass, it is possible to lose perspective of what really happened.
2. Listen carefully
When you know that your partner is lying to you, you feel that this experience is really uncomfortable. However, it is recommended that you maintain a dialogue in which active listening allows you to attend to what the other person has to tell you because their argument may offer you a different point of view.
3. Respond with your sincerity
Just because a person lies to you does not mean that you should respond to them in the same way. You can show him the mirror of truth, sincerity and honesty in front of his behavior through your words.
4. Describe the consequences
Lies have consequences, however, your partner will know them better if you describe them clearly, that is, if you make him a participant in what can happen if he continues to lie to you for longer.
How to act when your partner lies to you
Here are five tips for dealing with lies in your partner:
1. Partner code
It is recommended that this be one of the possible topics of conversation to share values and points of view on this topic. That is, it is convenient to raise this conversation even before a significant lie occurs.
2. Open questions
Ask open rather than closed questions during the conversation, since it is easier to reinforce a lie through answers that are reduced to the limits of "yes" or "no."
People are wrong and the lie is a clear manifestation of this fact. Therefore, a lie can also be accompanied by the regret of the one who lies and the apology of the one who has felt hurt.
4. What was the intention of a lie
The lie can not only be observed through the fact itself, but also, in its initial intention. By discovering why your partner acted in a certain way, you can also realize that they didn't mean badly.
5. Contextualize the situation
The value of a lie is also closely linked to the context of the type of deception and the situation in the relationship. Therefore, limit what happened to the concrete of the here and now but, also, put it in relation to the recent history between the two. Is it something that occurs frequently or has it been an isolated event?
This article is merely informative, we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.