Your parents are two of the most important people in your life. However, love is not incompatible with lack of understanding. In spite of this, love is an essential base to increase communication, have an attitude of empathy and keep the door open. Fathers and mothers, who want their children unconditionally, always want the best for them. If you tell yourself this message: " My parents do not understand me: What do I do? “ In Transkerja.com, we share this information with emotional help.
How to act if your parents do not understand you
- Do not get defensive. Sometimes it happens that children feel that their parents do not understand them when they are simply not respecting certain norms of family coexistence or do not listen to the advice that their parents share from their experience. This situation can occur in the first years of youth if the children live with their parents. Sometimes, behind this idea of lack of understanding there is, in reality, the discomfort of a child whose parents do not tell him what he wants to hear. That does not mean that parents always have the absolute truth on any issue, however, in most cases, they are a good reference.
- Give them time. One of the qualities of parents is patience. Even those parents who consider themselves impatient, in fact, stand out for this virtue. Time is a significant resource of life. In addition, sometimes, people only need time to change their minds, value new options or appreciate what is important.
- Talk to a mentor. Maybe you can count on the advice of a family member you trust unconditionally. A responsible adult with whom you can share what happens to you, and that from the lessons learned from your own life, can advise you.
- Psychological help. There are different circumstances by which a person can make the decision to ask for psychological help. Communication problems are an example of this. In the context of therapy, you can deepen around the factors involved in this situation from an introspection perspective.
- Share moments with your parents. The need to feel understood is lawful, however, beyond this circumstance; this relationship can take its usual course. Try not to focus the conversation topics on those issues where misunderstanding is revealed.
My parents do not support me: what can I do?This non-understanding is usually linked to the non-acceptance of a decision that the child has made. What can you do to explain this question?
- Express why this issue is important to you. It offers arguments and significant data. Try to convey to your parents the transcendental motivation that guides you. That is, try to value the decision you have made not from selfishness but from happiness.
- Show how much you love your parents. Sometimes pride and fear become barriers that block communication. Instead of focusing on the reason for non-understanding, reinforce generosity in affection. Maybe your parents fear that you stay away from them and need to realize that you will always be by their side even if circumstances change.
- Contextualizes the conflict. The reason for distancing becomes giant when you only focus on that issue. However, the relationship with your parents is broader and nuanced. Limit the matter.
- Difference between acting and being. Your parents do not understand the decision you have made, that is, they do not agree with the facts you have chosen. However, misunderstanding does not affect the plane of being. For your parents you are a unique person.
- Have empathy with your parents. The same empathy that you expect from them is what you can offer if you consider that, they are part of another generation and this significantly influences the values and philosophy of life.
The history of each family is unique. Act as the protagonist of this moment in your life and make decisions that help you grow and evolve.
Five tips to improve communication with your parentsIf you still believe that your parents do not understand you, you may need to improve communication through the following techniques:
- Commitment. Do not focus on this relationship thinking only of your rights. Take care of your bond with your parents by finding a formula with which you feel comfortable. Do not confuse comfort with the emotional comfort zone.
- Your father and mother are different, even if they have many things in common. However, try to observe this personalization factor to avoid generalities.
- Identify what unites you to your parents. Take your time to identify this strength.
- Prove that you are an adult and responsible not only for your actions but also for your consequences.
- If you think it is necessary, ask your parents not to overprotect you. Thanks for your help and ask for their advice when you need it.