The family is one of the most important points of support in the life of a human being. However, family relationships are also complex. There are feelings such as anger, resentment or resentment that, sometimes, are confused with hatred. Grudge and hatred are feelings that feed through memory by paying constant attention to the reason that caused the injury in the past.
In the family environment there can be an accumulation of situations that have led the protagonist to increase this disenchantment. However, no form of resentment brings happiness. And, in addition, this feeling also increases the emotional distance between loved ones. In Transkerja.com we reflect on this topic: “ I hate my family, what can I do? ”, If you feel identified with this question, try to do something to get out of the place where you are.
I do not feel good with my family: what can I do?Next, we share these ideas of emotional intelligence :
1. Accept what you feelIt is possible for the person to censor their emotions and not recognize them as such. It is positive that you accept this reality to identify what is at the base of this malaise. That is, do not stay on the surface of rancor, for example. Because it may happen that at the bottom of this pain you identify a need for affection that needs to be expressed.
2. Realistic and human expectationsIt is possible to make the mistake of not being objective in a family situation by demanding extreme perfectionism in others and being more flexible with oneself. Your loved ones are vulnerable and imperfect, that is, they are human. Learn to look at them from empathy .
3. Your past does not determine your presentUnder the wound of resentment, on occasion, there is the pain of adults who feel locked in a present eternally conditioned by yesterday. What happened has already happened and is part of the history of your life. However, that past does not define your current reality. Do not hold others responsible for your present unhappiness since you are the protagonist of your life when you stop feeding the rancor. Discover here how to stop being so spiteful .
4. Try to identify the cause of this feelingTo increase your emotional management at this time in your life, it is recommended that you try to understand what has happened so that you feel this way. This introspection around this situation is also very important so that if at any time you decide to start a psychological therapy to deal with this situation, share this information with the professional.
It may happen that at the base of this pain is a feeling of lack of love. This is an inner perception that, in many cases, may not coincide with the objective reality of what loved ones feel. Simply, human beings are imperfect and limited.
5. Your family is part of your essenceRejection of loved ones also shows a way to deny an important part of oneself. Hate is a manifestation of rejection. On the contrary, accepting a situation through understanding helps you develop a new attitude towards your story.
3 tips to reconcile with your familyIf you hate your family and don't know what to do, these suggestions can inspire you:
1. Don't compare your loved ones with other familiesThis tendency toward comparison only fuels your dissatisfaction because, in addition, your interpretation of reality is partial and subjective. You do not know these other families so much in what it means to be part of them. But, in addition, it can also happen that you do not know as much as you believe your own family since resentment prevents you from sincerely receiving the possible actions of love that your family members show you.
2. Listen to othersLove can also be present in the contradiction. For example, parents educate their children in values. Therefore, the concept of limit is also present in education. These limits that can break the previous expectations of the children, are a demonstration of love although at first they generate discomfort in the mood of those who receive the effect of that action.
3. Family therapyA family is a system in constant change, evolution and dynamism. You can position yourself in the expectation of external events or, on the contrary, take the initiative to positively influence this reality. For example, you can propose the idea of conducting a family therapy with your parents to promote understanding, avoid family conflicts and improve the relationship.
4 decisions you can make to improve your relationship with your familyIf you are experiencing a situation like this, you can make decisions that help you move forward.
- Regulate contact with your loved ones. You can vary the pace in the plans and communication with them. Maybe you prefer to see them less often. Find the rhythm with which you feel comfortable.
- Create a new relationship with your family . Build a renewed link from the present, trying to pay more attention to the current reality. You can no longer change the past, your relatives do not have this power either. Yes it is possible to build a loop centered on the now.
- Observe the difficulties, an opportunity to develop resilience . All families have problems, difficulties and disagreements.
- Avoid generality . The family is a term that groups all the people that are part of it. However, each family member is different. Who do you have a more cordial relationship with? It may happen that you want to strengthen the bond with some people while other ties are less significant for you. Think about it to make your decisions.