Having a relationship with someone is usually linked to knowing and dealing with your family. And what happens if your new partner has children? Do you know how to treat them? On some occasions, we may not get along with our partner's children. But everything can be solved with time, patience and some psychological advice.
How to treat my partner's children? This situation is not easy, in fact it is a subject that can generate many conflicts. In this Transkerja.com article we give you some tips on how to deal with and relate to your partner's children.
My partner's children are a problem: what should I do?In your mind there must be space for everyone, because for your partner your children will always be a priority. The ideal would be to take a neutral attitude, do not ignore its existence because in the end, as children of your partner will always be present. But on the other hand you should not replace a role that does not correspond to you, the role of mother or father. Here are some tips to treat your partner's children:
As we were saying, at the beginning of the relationship with the children of your partner you should keep away from the role of father or mother trying not to impose your opinions . This can make you feel a little "isolated", but you must understand that it is the parents who have to decide about their children. On the other hand it is important that your partner helps you to have a place within the family, your place in this case is that you are the "new" partner of your father / mother. Show yourself natural and eager to collaborate and help but not overwhelm.
It is essential to create a climate of trust, empathy and complicity. Look for things in common to create spaces in which you feel comfortable and keep in mind that confidence arises over time.
Once you feel that a climate of trust has been created and you become a close person for your partner's children, then you can go a little further and be someone in whom they can seek help or simply company . The new family structure will need to share experiences and experiences that will make you relax little by little, and enjoy your time together.
Keep in mind that even if you have achieved a good relationship with your partner's children, you do not have to substitute their parents, unless it is strictly necessary due to the absence of a parental role.
What to do with problem stepchildrenPatience and time. One has to have a lot of patience, each child is a world and with some it may cost more to connect, but with perseverance and a correct attitude you will promote a good relationship in which there is, above all, respect. With a change in the new family structure , each member of the family needs a period of adaptation.
On the other hand, you should not assume all responsibility for what is happening. Do not get overwhelmed and take care of yourself, because there may be situations of distress or discomfort that affect your well-being. And keep in mind that you are not forced to feel love for them from the beginning.
I advise you that instead of establishing an uncomfortable climate with your partner's children, you put yourself in their place to be able to understand what they are going through since they may feel misunderstood, rejected or without knowing what role they have in this new family situation. In most cases, the actions of children show us that they need to be understood, listened to and need help to feel safe again because their family structure has been broken. If you need more guidance, we advise you to read the following article to solve family conflicts .
Tips for rebuilt familiesWe are aware that establishing a relationship with your partner's children is necessary but requires a lot of time and patience.
In addition, to solve any type of conflict, we must take into account that in personal relationships they are a matter of two and that the link must be worked on by both of you, both on your part and on the part of your partner's children. In some cases professional guidance is necessary, either because the children have not adapted well or because one or both partners need help.
Relationships , with or without children, require will and effort. Take it easy and humor !