In this Transkerja.com article we reflect on this question: " I feel that I do not fit anywhere: what do I do?” This situation of personal search that may take you to the level of alterity, in fact, also has a lot to tell you about yourself.
You may also be interested: Why I feel lonely and empty
Why do I feel I do not fit anywhere? 4 causesEach personal story is unique, for this reason, if you are in a stage of this type, it is recommended that you reinforce your introspection to find your answer. What are the reasons why a person can experience this type of sensation?
1. A moment of change and searchThere are stages of evolution and transformation. Cycles in which the known scenario acquires a different vision because the protagonist considers alternatives in his lifestyle that had not been valued until then. New questions arise, the need to find new answers arises and possible alternatives to known routines become stronger. This moment of change and personal search is born within you since you visualize yourself immersed in that new horizon. However, the results are not always immediate, it is possible to experience disorientation during the process.
2. You do not feel good about yourselfPersonal relationships with others are a manifestation of the bond you maintain with yourself. Just as you can spread your inner joy and your sense of humor through your optimistic attitude, you can also project on the other deficiencies that are conditioning you in the first person. In this case, observe the positive function of the emotional information provided by this type of experience to try to identify some type of conflict pending resolution, some feeling that asks to be heard, some decision that you have silenced or any aspect that is significant.
3. Many superficial relationshipsPersonal happiness does not depend on the number of friends but on the quality and intimacy of the links. If you feel you do not fit anywhere, it may happen that you have many superficial links but none deep and true to talk about issues that really matter to you because they affect you as a protagonist. In a relationship of trust there is also room to chat about relaxed anecdotes, however, friends start from an attitude of mutual knowledge. Superficial relationships, on the other hand, do not cover the need for true affection if they are the main support for the protagonist.
4. Lack of common interestsEach person is unique. When you feel you do not fit anywhere, you feel different from others. The effect of the comparison arises. Each human being has its own characteristics and particularities. Hobbies and common interests unite. When you do not find people with whom to share your time with people who have concerns similar to you, you can experience this perception.
I feel I do not fit into this society: 6 tipsWhat can you do if you live a process of this type? Below, we offer you the best tips to work the feeling of “I feel like I do not fit anywhere”
1. Listen to the feeling but put it in contextIt is very important that you attend to this emotional information that gives you feedback. Reality goes beyond feeling. Sometimes, the sensations lived around previous experiences that you have experienced can condition you negatively in the present by generating a predisposition in the linear interpretation of the facts. To try that this does not happen to you, do not extract general conclusions of the particular experiences.
2. Look for new relationship environmentsWork, after work activities, training courses, cultural events, sports venues, universities, associations ... Make a list of those places where you can meet new people. A situation of this kind, instead of demotivating you, can impel you in the search because at some point you can meet people with whom new sensations arise.
3. PatienceThis is one of the most important aspects. Personal relationships require time and impatience can make you stay on the surface of a situation. On the contrary, with the passage of time, you can know others better and others can know you better. Knowing how to have more patience is the indispensable basis for building constructive bonds. Since, besides, you can not only feel that you fit with people who share common interests with you, but also, with people different from you who complement you thanks to this difference.
4. Value what makes you specialYou are a unique person and you have qualities of your own. Appreciate the reality of your essence, cultivate your inner world. This is one of the famous messages of the movie Wonder that can be of inspiration: "You cannot blend with the group when you were born to excel".
5. Look for the company beyond peopleThe experience of the company can not only start from the contact with others, it can also arise from the experience of reading, cinema, theater, healthy walks or the magic of natural places.
6. Psychological helpYou can evaluate the possibility of asking for psychological help if this situation is negatively affecting your self-esteem and your quality of life.
I do not fit socially: 3 mistakes you should not makeThese are the three failures that should be avoided in this type of situation.
1. Wanting to please othersSearching for inner reaffirmation through the search for external approval and the desire to be loved and accepted by others will not make you happier because the most influential opinion is that which you have about yourself.
2. Believe that this will never changeLife is dynamic and your social sphere is in constant movement. You can observe your life experience since you have memory to realize it. Now that you are going through this situation does not mean that within a time you cannot have experiences of another color.
3. Undervalue yourselfAt any time in your life you are called to be the protagonist of your story. Even when you feel you do not fit, you occupy a leading role in your destiny.
I feel that I do not fit anywhere: what do I do? Now is the time to reflect and follow the advice we have given you in this curriculum.