How to stop feeling guilty about everything

How to stop feeling guilty about everything
All of us have experienced at some point in our lives the feeling of guilt. This feeling, in spite of being quite uncomfortable and annoying, also usually brings with it extremely positive aspects if it becomes responsibility.

If the responsibilities did not exist, there would be a tremendous chaos in society since most of us would probably be involved in acts potentially harmful to others and even to ourselves, relationships between people would be increasingly complicated, among other things. That is why, if we know how to use guilt in a positive way, this can help us to be better and better, to continue growing as people and to improve our interpersonal relationships.

However, in this article we are going to focus on that feeling of guilt that prevents us from living quietly and that even makes us feel guilty for everything that happens even without really being. So if you are a person who does not stop feeling guilty about everything and would like to change this situation, in this article on how to stop feeling guilty about everything, we will give you a series of tips that will help you eliminate that Guilt that is only hurting you.

When you feel guilty about everything: the main reasons

There are many reasons why a person may come to experience guilt and find themselves having a hard time and suffering for it. However, among the main reasons we can highlight the following:
  • Condition acquired from childhood. Generally, from children we are always taught that we should behave well and act in a certain way because otherwise we will stop doing the "right". Moral issues dictated by society, by religion, the beliefs of our parents and / or caregivers, etc., determine these conditions.
  • Need for recognition and approval. From small we usually perform certain behaviors in order to win the approval of parents because in the way we feel more loved and accepted. All this can be seen reflected in some occasions in our relationship with other people where that feeling of approval that arose in us from children appears.
  • Fear of feeling "bad people". The majority of people have taken to considering that, the fact that they do not feel guilty makes them "bad people", and so they try to experience it.
  • Do not take responsibility for our actions. Some people prefer to carry their whole life with the feeling of guilt to want to remedy what they did at some point because it can mean for them to make a great sacrifice.
  • To think that we deserve to feel that way. Many people cannot let go of their guilt because they really believe that for what they they deserved to be suffering and continuously torturing themselves.
  • We have not respected our norms or those of others. Another aspect for which we tend to feel guilty is because we feel that we have not respected our personal limits or norms that we had proposed. We can also feel guilty for not having respected other people.

How to stop feeling bad: five steps

  1. Identify if the guilt you feel is positive or negative. Remember that positive guilt is one that invites you to improve because if things can be solved, they are solved and if not learned and we are left with a new experience that helps us grow. Negative guilt is one that is responsible for torturing us day by day and that leaves us no room to get the new learning that we want to leave.
  2. Consequences that guilt brings. Reflect on the consequences of feeling guilty in your life. For example, among the most common consequences are living being worried and even stressed by constantly thinking about what happened that can no longer be remedied, punishing you and feeling that you do not deserve anything good in your life, torturing yourself, not to be able to sleep, etc.
  3. Why continue to blame? Think about the reason why you continue to blame yourself, for this, you can take into account the following questions: will it help you to improve? Is that going to make you solve the situation? Do you blame yourself? Do you feel better person?
  4. What would happen if you stopped blaming yourself? Imagine what would happen if you let go of the negative fault, accept only the positive one and live more calmly without being continuously tortured. Think about what your life would be like and how it would change. Close your eyes and imagine yourself for a few minutes feeling free, without guilt, getting a new learning of each situation for which you have always blamed yourself.
  5. Learn to forgive yourself. Are you ready to forgive? Self-forgiveness is essential in any recovery process. For this, I recommend that you write a list of all the things for which you have been blaming yourself and finally expose that you forgive yourself. For example, you can put: I forgive myself for (the situation you need to forgive); the reason why you are doing it and how calm you feel now that you have forgiven and freed yourself from what was hurting yourself (to).

Tips for not feeling responsible for everything

Stop self-criticism

Sometimes, people criticize ourselves too much, even ruthlessly, which causes the guilt we may feel at some point to experience it to double and exaggerating what it really is. We must learn to be more compassionate with ourselves and we are going to criticize it in a constructive and non-destructive way. It is important to give us a break and increase our self-esteem.

We all make mistakes

When we feel, guilty we can come to feel that we are the only people in the world who have made a mistake and as if that is the worst thing that can happen to us. As you know, the reality is that each one of us makes mistakes and we are going to keep doing it, it is something we have to accept. The mistakes, if we take them, as we should do, help us to continue developing as people and encourage us to be better and better.

There are situations that we cannot avoid

Another thing that we must accept is that we cannot have control of everything. In fact, we lack control of most situations that occur in life. An example that is very common in this type of cases is that some people tend to blame us for things like the death of a loved one, where we feel we could have done something because it did not happen, however it is not so and we have to learn to forgive us

Offer to help

In case you have made a mistake and voluntarily or involuntarily, you have harmed another person, you may not be able to remedy it. However, there are many other things you can do to improve it, for example, change your attitude with that person, and help them in whatever way you can, in a few words show your sincere repentance through your actions.