It is not always easy to manage an angry situation. When we argue with someone, we are likely to lose control and end up raising our voice a little. However, we have to keep in mind that, screaming, all we get is to make the problem more important and that the other person is put in tension and on the defensive.
With the screams, we do not get anything good, just inflate the situation and make it worse when it could easily be solved. In this Transkerja.com article, we want to answer your question "Why do I scream when I get angry?”. Here we will discover the causes of your anger and help you, the next time, you can better control the situation.
Causes of anger and screamsIn order to know why you scream when you get angry it is important that we analyze the origin of this situation. In most of the times, when we lose our nerves we do it because, in reality, we are seeing a reflection of what we are and we do not like it. It is what is known as the "mirror theory" and occurs when a reaction or comment from someone makes us angry uncontrollably. Actually, what has happened?
That we have been reflected. We have perceived a reflection of a part of us that we do not like and the way to react is defensive. We do not want to be like that and, therefore, we scream and get angry with the person before us when, in reality, we should look inward and see what does not work.
Nevertheless, let us not confuse ourselves: it is clear that there are situations that can upset us and make us angry. For example, that they make us wait a long time, that someone speaks badly to you, etcetera. However, when we really lose the roles , when we really scream and get out of control, it is when they have touched us "the fiber", when they have said or done something that has come to us very deep. Moreover, this happens because it is our reflection.
How to detect an attack of anger to prevent itThe easiest way to express anger is through shouting. Therefore, if you want to know why you scream when you get angry, you have to know that what you are really experiencing is the emotion of anger. In order to learn to detect that you are experiencing this emotion, we recommend that you pay attention to the physical signals that will invade your body:
- Appearance of body heat as well as sweats
- You feel your jaw in tension
- You frown or squint
- You clench your fists
- Palpitations in the heart
- Confusing ideas in the mind
If you want to avoid screaming when you get angry, it is important that you pay attention to these reactions of your body. In this way, you will be able to notice the situation and, before the emotion controls you, you become its owner.
Start of anger in adults, how to control them?Now that you know why you scream when you get angry, it is important to learn the techniques to control this situation. As we have already said, the shouting does not solve anything, rather it provokes the opposite. The person who is receiving the cries will be defensive and, probably, will also shout, get angry or feel assaulted and end up crying. We have to be consistent with our actions and our way of communicating, therefore, it is essential to learn to control the outbursts of anger.
Here we are going to give you some techniques that can help you take control of your response and avoid anger or anger that ends up speaking for you:
- Take a deep breath: in order to control the anger it is important to calm the anxiety that this situation has caused you. Therefore, breathing 10 times deeply will help you reduce that stress and prevent you from responding impulsively and without thinking very well what you are saying. Calm yourself, take a breath and let that emotion leave to listen to what they are saying and react in a civilized and respectful way.
- Practice empathy: many times, we react with shouting and anger because we are carried away by the impulse first. We act in an action / reaction way but we have to avoid that impulse and think reasonably. What is that person saying to you? What do you think is the message that you want to communicate? Most of the time, the big discussions are nothing more than communication errors between two people who have not been able to express their feelings well. So do not rush and try to understand what you want to say.
- Express your feelings without reproach: if there was something that did not sit well with you, sit down with that person and talk openly. Express how you have felt and try to understand you. However, beware: never reproach or blame. You have to speak from you, never from what others have to do for you.
- Go for a walk: especially at the beginning, it may be difficult for you to control anger and avoid screaming so a trick is to leave a few minutes of that tense climate to think more clearly and analyze. what is it what is really happening Get out of that tense atmosphere and relax so you can have a clearer mind and think more clearly. Anger can cloud our understanding, so do not let yourself be dragged by it and control the situation.
Control the screams and anger when you get angryAs we have already said, the screams are a natural response that arises from anger. Therefore, they are just another symptom of the emotion that is occupying your body. In order to avoid screaming when you get angry it is important to learn to handle anger because the screams appear because this emotion invades us.
To get rid of the anger of your day to day and enjoy a more healthy and positive emotions, then we will give you some life habits that can help you live much more in peace.