Abuses in the couple involve important consequences in our mental health. Psychological abuse is very likely one of the types of abuse that leaves the most mark. Its consequences are difficult to treat since we only see the tip of the iceberg, the psychological processes that a victim of psychological abuse goes through are numerous and remarkably unpleasant.
Sometimes, if we do not deal with this type of abuse in time, we can drag its consequences throughout life, especially if these have occurred for a long time. Low self-esteem, distrust of others and social anxiety are only a few repercussions that can lead to abuse. However, it is possible to overcome it and get out of it. In this Transkerja.com article, we will provide guidelines and information to know how to overcome your partner's psychological abuse.
The mistreatment in the coupleThere are many types of violence within a relationship: physical, psychological, social, economic abuse ... all of them consist in the use of aggressiveness (active or passive) to coerce and impose power on the other person. Normally, such abuse is often called gender violence. This is because, in most cases, the victim is a woman and receives the abuse only because she is.
We can define psychological abuse as those behaviors that aim to attack the mental stability of the victim. Screams, insults, threats, harassment in public or private are just some of the clearest examples of psychological abuse. Knowing how to recognize it is the first step to get out of that situation, for this, we have signals that can help us know how to detect psychological abuse in the couple. Such as hostile attitudes, verbal aggressions ... and there are even questions that can help us detect an abuser, these can be the following:
- Does it have a tendency to control your friendships?
- Watch your way of dressing?
- Do you always bother if you do not do what he or she wants?
- Does it control your money?
- Does it tell you that you are crazy and makes you feel bad?
- Do you ridicule your work or your studies?
- Does he laugh at your physical appearance?
- Do you threaten to commit suicide or harm yourself if you break the relationship?
- Does he blackmail you for sex?
- Threatens to hurt you?
- Are you afraid?
If some of these questions have resonated in our head, it is time to ask ourselves how to overcome the psychological abuse of your partner. Once the attitudes have been detected, it is time to point them out and think about getting out of that abusive relationship.
How to stop a psychological abuserMany times, the abuser does not realize his actions (or does not want to realize) and it is necessary to stop his feet to prevent the violence from going further. Dealing with someone aggressive is not an easy task and, in some cases, it is best to flee from this situation to work on mental stability and strengthen our ability to overcome such traumatic situations, that is, develop resilience.
The most important thing to defend against abuse is to keep distance and work with emotional defense techniques to avoid being affected by everything you have to tell us. It is advisable to get out of this relationship of abuse, but it is not always so easy. The aggressor often uses coercion and threats to prevent us from moving away from him or her. However, it is necessary to act quickly to prevent their abuses from continuing to affect our mental health.
If the threats go further and the abuse does not stop, there is also the legal way to deal with the psychological abuser.
Steps to overcome psychological abuseAfter leaving the relationship of abuse, the next step is to overcome its consequences, for this we can count on different psychological techniques focused on strengthening self-esteem and regaining mental stability.
The first step we must take is to accept that we have been mistreated. If we continue to deny it, if we do not want to see reality, it will be very difficult for us to overcome it. Doing so is very hard, but as long as we continue to consider that the behavior of those who abuse us psychologically is acceptable, we cannot overcome it correctly.
Next, we must change the way we see the situation. People who have suffered psychological abuse feel guilty and responsible for it; they also tend to think that the fault of what happens is theirs. We must learn to see what part of responsibility the other person has in his behavior, not only to blame him, but also to free himself from his responsibility.
Finally, it is convenient to seek help from a professional group specialized in abuse. The best, if we have the possibility, is to become part of a self-help group of people who have suffered psychological abuse, who will also facilitate access to professionals specialized in abuse. With this, we can learn to recognize abusive behaviors and techniques to deal with them. The emotional support of those who have already gone through it is very emotionally healing.
Throughout the process of overcoming, we must begin to love each other, develop our mental health and accept our experiences. If we can learn something from a situation of abuse, it is to become stronger. Mental and emotional strengths play a very important role in this way to get out of a situation of abuse.
Aftermath of psychological abuseThe consequences of psychological abuse depend on each person and situation. There are variables such as the severity of the abuse or its duration that influence the depth of mental wounds. However, in general, the sequels are as follows:
- Generalized anxiety: victims of psychological violence have learned to be constantly alert for everything; anxiety is usually a characteristic that endures after leaving the relationship of abuse.
- Low self-esteem: listen day after day insults and harassment from our partner (someone who initially appreciate and value) ends up affecting the image we have of ourselves and, therefore, lowers self-esteem.
- Addictions: when we find no solution to our situation, sometimes we look for other escape routes. Alcoholism in battered women is an example of cognitive sequelae after a situation of psychological abuse.
- Problems of concentration and memory: the consequences of abuse can be so profound that they affect the processes of attention and memory. This is because our mind needs to disconnect to avoid living psychological violence repeatedly through memory and trauma.
- Social phobia: Another fear learned during the situation of abuse is the fear of relating to others. If for some time we have lived in terror towards our partner, it is likely that such fear will be transferred to the other spheres of our life.
Not only are there cognitive consequences, psychological violence can also cause physical injuries such as tachycardia, spasms, respiratory problems, sexual dysfunction and gastrointestinal disorders.
There is life after psychological abuseGetting ahead after abuse is not easy. However, with time and proper therapy, we can appreciate that there is life after the abuse. The goal of knowing how to overcome your partner's psychological abuse is, above all, to learn to live happily and free from mental pressures.
Finally, it should be noted that both the abuse and the abuser must be reported and prosecuted. These types of actions are intolerable and go against human rights themselves. If the abuser is not punished or his attitudes are pointed out, he will probably attack another victim again.