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My Ex Looks for Me but Doesn't Want to Come Back: What Do I Do?

One of the most complicated situations that people can go through in our lives is a love break, obviously this also depends on the type of relationship that has been established with the person, among other factors. Above all, in the vast majority of cases, the person who is rejected by the other is the one who has the worst time. Once the couple has broken up, there can be many situations where we can have a bad time with that person, for example, when your ex wants to see you but does not want to return .

In this psychology article, we will try to help you if your question is " my ex is looking for me but he doesn't want to come back: what do I do? " Next, I will explain to you what are the main reasons why this happens and I will give you some tips on what you can do about it.

Why does my ex want to see me but doesn't want to come back


Why is my ex talking to me but doesn't want to come back? If right now you feel confused because your ex is looking for you but does not want to return with you, surely you have returned the hope of recovering his love , so you feel happy, but you may also be beginning to have a bad time due to Because some time has passed and that person shows no signs of wanting to get back with you.

There are different reasons why your ex partner looks for you but does not want to return or does not finish making up his mind. Some of the most common are the following:

  • You are confused. It is likely, especially if it has been a short time since the relationship has ended, that your partner is confused and is not clear if the decision he made is the right one. This is why despite having finished with you, he keeps looking for you because he feels that he may be making a mistake.
  • You don't like to be alone. If your ex-partner is a highly dependent person who does not like to be alone, despite having made the decision to end the relationship for whatever reasons, he may keep looking for you because he feels the need to be in company Although it is not intended to rebuild the relationship.
  • Habit. Although your ex-partner is clear that he no longer loves you in the same way and is sure that he loves you more as a friend, he can keep looking for you because he is used to doing things with you, you are the person The one you trust the most, likes your company, among other things.
  • He wants to have an open relationship with you. Another possible reason is that your ex-partner no longer wants to have the same level of commitment to you but nevertheless understands very well in other aspects such as sexuality, so he prefers that they only see each other to have that type of intimacy and only you search for that without any other purpose. It may be that your ex-partner explicitly proposes to have an open relationship and without further commitments with you or that you interpret it yourself with their actions.


My ex looks for me but doesn't want to come back: what do I do?


If your ex-boyfriend keeps looking for you and this situation is already bringing a lot of suffering and confusion into your life, you need to start doing something so that this doesn't continue to affect you. So pay attention to the following tips that without a doubt if you put them into practice will help you overcome this situation in which your ex talks to you but does not want to return.

Ask for explanations


If your ex-partner does not stop looking for you and you are not clear about the real reason why he is doing it, the best thing you can do is confront him (a) and ask him for an explanation about his true intentions. When you talk to him, establish a specific time and place where they cannot be interrupted and ask him to solve all your doubts about it. Before doing so, it is advisable that you clarify your ideas well so that you do not overlook something important that you have to say to him.

Define what you want


Not only may your ex-partner be confused, but you may be confused as well and you don't really know whether or not you want to go back with him / her. So it is extremely important that before talking with your ex, you take time with yourself to reflect on what you really want, that is, if you want to get back with your ex or if you want to know how to stop thinking about your ex .

Set your own limits


It is necessary that you do not allow your ex to take advantage of the situation and set your own limits so as not to allow him to continue hurting you. For example, if your ex only looks for you in specific situations, such as when he is lonely, when he is bored, when he is drunk, etc. but normally they ignore you or when you talk to them they do not always respond to you, it is necessary that you put a stop to them and that you do not give in to their wishes all the time. If you notice that your partner only looks for you when it suits him , it is that this person does not suit you.

What to do if your ex talks to you but doesn't want to get back with you


Finally, if you see that this situation causes you too much psychological discomfort, we recommend these simple tips:

  • Get away from that person. If you have been with this situation for a long time and you have realized that your ex-partner is only playing with your feelings and therefore is not respecting you or being honest with you, the best thing you can do is get away from that person. Remember that although at first it will hurt, over time you can recover and feel better until the pain disappears. However, if you continue to hang out with your ex, when that person stops talking to you because they have started another relationship or are no longer interested in you at all, that will be more painful. Also if you keep letting more time pass, it will cost you more and more to get away from her and meet someone with whom you can have a good relationship.
  • Meet other people. Stop focusing solely on your ex and dare to start meeting other people, not only for the purpose of having a new relationship, but simply to further expand your social circle. This will undoubtedly help you feel better about yourself and you will realize that you can continue to feel good without that person.
  • Don't put aside your personal goals and objectives. Don't let your ex influence you to put aside your personal goals and objectives and steal your time. So not only by having more encounters with that person you forget what really matters and that is that you feel satisfied with yourself and can have the life you want.


This article is merely informative, we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.