Shyness is not a defect, but a personal characteristic. Yes, it can happen that a person has a high degree of shyness that negatively affects him in important decisions in his life. For example, a person may feel that his shyness closes doors in the field of social relationships and seduction. How to have a girlfriend if I'm shy? If you ask yourself this question, in Psychology, we guide you in the answer, giving you all the keys.
How to have a girlfriend if I'm shy? - 5 tips
Here are five tips that can help you win over that girl you like:
1. Don't see shyness as a flaw
When you ask yourself this question, you are giving too much weight to this particular characteristic of your way of being. You are absolutely identifying yourself with this trait, but you are also interpreting it as a limit. You are more than your shyness , this characteristic does not represent your absolute being.
2. Don't pressure yourself
Each person has their own rhythm and it is important that you stay true to yours. Listen to your inner voice to define the times with which you feel comfortable meeting another person. For example, you may feel more comfortable with the idea of a love that grows out of friendship.
3. Accept yourself as you are
Your level of self - confidence improves when you maintain a positive relationship with yourself. Observe your strengths, virtues and qualities. It may happen that you perceive your shyness from a certain point of view, while whoever observes you from the outside makes a totally different appreciation when seeing the charm and sensitivity of this quality.
4. Train your social skills
The discomfort you feel when you get out of your comfort zone when meeting new people increases when you keep yourself closed in and in your usual circle. It is recommended that you try to maintain an active social agenda and that you open the door to the possibility of meeting new people in new settings. For example, new training courses, through mutual friends or through online dating sites on the Internet. What are your hobbies and in which spaces do you feel comfortable?
5. Check your beliefs
Observe your immediate surroundings to realize how other people who are shy enjoy a stable relationship. When you ask yourself how to have a partner if you are shy, it is very likely that at the base of this question there are limiting beliefs that lead you to believe that there is some kind of difficulty in this possibility. And in that case, it is your beliefs that limit you, not your shyness.
Love coaching to overcome shyness
Through a process of love coaching you can establish sentimental goals that you carry out through the elaboration of a personalized action plan. This action plan is individual because it is very important that the protagonist feels comfortable taking the steps in the desired direction. The love coach offers a process of constant accompaniment to the client.
This is a method of personal empowerment that positions you as the protagonist of your life and decision-making on a sentimental level. Therefore, you find the answers within yourself.
If you feel that the experience of shyness prevents you from fully developing in this facet of your life or you would like to develop new tools and resources to manage those situations in which your shyness increases, you can consider the possibility of carrying out a love coaching process to get to know yourself better.
5 tips to overcome shyness on the first date
A first date is an especially meaningful moment when two people want to give each other a chance to get to know each other. Here are some ideas for this first date:
- Choose a place where you feel comfortable: it is very important that you make a plan in an environment where you feel good, for example, a cafe that you have already visited on previous occasions.
- Ask questions - it's not about turning a first date into an interrogation. However, through the resource of the question used in moderation you can put the focus of attention on the other person. When the other person takes center stage, you enjoy listening.
- Conversation topics: you cannot anticipate the date before living it, however, you can plan some details. For example, make a selection of conversation topics that you can introduce during this first meeting. What are some of your favorite topics? Pick some of them for this first date.
- Show your shyness: why hide shyness when the important thing is that two people know each other as they are? Live this first date trying to enjoy it, but do it from yourself and your inner truth, do not demand to be who you really are.
- Be patient: when you get to know the other person better, if you want to continue having more dates with them, you feel more comfortable in their company, since trust is always fueled by the experience of sharing moments in common. That is, make your own shyness down because anyone who is at this time experiences a certain feeling of discomfort when leaving their comfort zone. However, this feeling of uncertainty is also linked to the motivation for falling in love.
This article is merely informative, we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.