I Have Everything, but I'm Not Happy: Why Does It Happen?

You have it all, but still you are not satisfied and even less happy. For what is this? In reality, everything you have will not guarantee your satisfaction. True happiness requires being good with yourself. We analyze it.

I have everything, but I am not happy. I have all those things that should make me feel good, satisfied with myself: good job, family, a partner I love ... My life, on the surface, is complete, but even so I am overwhelmed by the feeling of emptiness, dissatisfaction and even discomfort . What is the cause? Why do I feel this way?

Erich Fromm once pointed out with great success that "if we are not happy with everything we have, we will not be happy with what we lack" . However…. What is really that in particular that is absent in us? Is it self-esteem, is it perhaps self-actualization, that area that Abraham Maslow placed at the top of his pyramid of human needs?

Actually, this is a question that many people ask themselves frequently. The feeling that we have everything and yet we still lack something as deep as determining that we do not know how to define, is a recurring experience. Faced with these types of circumstances, there is only one option: stop, make contact with ourselves and answer a series of questions.

We analyze them.

I have it all, but I'm not happy: causes to consider

We have become used to hearing that happiness is not on the outside, it is on the inside. However ... what do we really mean by this expression? The truth is that it is very difficult to look for something within ourselves when in the depths of our own being, only dissatisfaction, frustration and the feeling of emptiness dwell.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry reminded us of "what is essential is invisible to the eyes. Our society also frequently repeats to us that less is more, that we must learn to be happy with the least. However, many of these approaches often mislead us, because they overlook a determining fact: happiness is only possible if there is mental health.

Therefore, it takes a lot, a lot to be happy: we need healthy self-esteem, skills to handle problems, skills to understand our own emotions and those of others ... We also need a defined identity, be assertive, have good social skills and tools to cope stress, failures, uncertainty , disappointments ...

Thus, when we tell ourselves that I have everything, but I am not happy, perhaps we should do an act of deep reflection. Therefore, let us know what areas can mediate this type of perception.

Chronic dissatisfaction

There are those who rarely experience satisfaction, who never feel the tickle of the happiness that embraces, nourishes and releases. This may be due to what we know as chronic dissatisfaction syndrome or bovarism (after Madame Bovary, the character of Gustave Flauvert). In this case, what defines these people is the following:

  • They have unrealistic expectations . They have a conception of how clearly impossible and unreal things should be.
  • Impossible goals are set.
  • They have a distorted view of reality. They only see what fits their perspectives. Sometimes, even if things go well, they will focus on the most negative factors.
  • Lack of self - knowledge. They are not clear about their identity, what they really want, what they expect of themselves, they do not know what their strengths and weaknesses are ...

Your life does not conform to your authentic values or needs

You have a job, but it's not the job you dreamed of. You have a partner, but although you get along well and love that person, you perceive that the passion, the illusion is lacking ... The lifestyle you lead may be satisfactory, but it doesn't really suit your true needs. It is possible that deep down, you long for other things.

When we tell ourselves that I have everything, but I am not happy, it is possible that in reality what we have we do not really like or conform to our own values. We may have forcibly accommodated ourselves, adapted to our surroundings without really wondering if it was what we wanted.

Happiness is not important, the decisive thing is to be good with yourself (and you are not)

You can have a job, family, good friends, a home, and financial stability. Apparently, he " has it all, " but still overwhelms discomfort, worry, anguish, and unhappiness . The most complicated thing is that whoever has everything does not dare to show their internal suffering because they think that no one will be able to understand it. And something like that increases the anguish even more.

It is important to consider one aspect. Often behind these situations a depression can hide. Thus, studies such as those carried out at the Universities of Oslo by Dr. Teemu Risanen indicate that life dissatisfaction is often related to major depression. It is therefore crucial to become aware of this and receive specialized help when we need it.

I have everything, but I am not happy: do you take control of your life or do you let yourself go?

Do you act or do you get carried away? Do you decide for yourself or are others who decide for you? ... Sometimes, almost without knowing how, we reach a point in our lives where we begin to act out of inertia . We fall into the thicket of routines, in that daily life in which illusions are smoothed out to fit in with what others expect of us.

Little by little, we were locked in a jail with invisible bars, in a space over which we no longer have control . Work marks our days and family our obligations. In that small universe we do not find corners for ourselves and then, dreams, hopes, secret illusions disappear ...

When we say that I have everything, but I'm not happy, maybe it's time to make a change. You do not need to start a revolution or do a reset from scratch. Sometimes it is enough to ask ourselves what we really want to give us what we need. For that, you only need decision and self-love.

Because happiness is also self-care, let's keep it in mind ...