What to Do When Your Coworkers Don't Like You
Work relationships are seen as a potential source of stress at a time when they are faced with difficulties related to management, employees, and colleagues themselves.
A variable that helps determine the quality of work is precisely the quantity and quality of social support provided by superiors and colleagues: if this help is available and adequate, it can neutralize some possible stressors resulting from the combined effect of a heavy task and poor control possibilities; if, on the other hand, social support is scarce or totally absent, or if the social climate in the workplace is characterized by discrimination and harassment, an additional source of stress is added.
In this Psychology article we will talk about interpersonal relationships in the work environment and we will see together how to deal with hypocritical co-workers and envious people at work and, in particular, what to do when your co-workers do not like you.
Why do my coworkers treat me badly
The term mobbing usually refers to harassment, aggression and damage to one or more workers . Generally, the triggering cause of horizontal mobbing -a form that involves people who are at the same hierarchical level- is not so much the incompatibilities within the work environment, rather than a reaction of a majority of the group to the stress of the environment and of work activities: the victim is thus used as a "scapegoat" , on whom falls the blame for disorganization, inefficiencies and failures.
The basis of horizontal mobbing is not formal power, but informal power, which includes a series of factors related to individual sensitivity and perception. It is based on envy, gossip and jealousy, specifically translating into competition, forms of racism, campanileismo, where the marginalization and stigmatization of the victim is sometimes based on aspects such as, for example, the city of origin or the accent. Furthermore, the sympathy of the boss or the recognition of a colleague can activate envy mechanisms at work, perhaps, which can lead to behaviors that eliminate their opponent.
Therefore, the two main reasons why people treat their co-workers badly are the inability to manage stress through adaptive strategies and self-esteem problems that lead to envy.
How to deal with difficult coworkers
How do you deal with hypocritical co-workers and envious people at work? 14 profiles of people who practice psychological violence in the workplace have been outlined :
- The careerist, the one who seeks in all ways to make a career without having any qualms about reaping victims along the way.
- The casual, chance-born conflict winner who chooses to destroy his opponent completely.
- The choleric, who because of his character cannot control himself and contain his anger and solves his problems by going after others.
- The conformist, a direct spectator of bullying, who, although not directly responsible, does nothing to block it
- The critic , who criticizes without ever proposing solutions.
- The frustrated, who tends to unload his own private problems on others.
- The flatterer, who despises his subordinates and acts as a slave to the boss.
- The cowardly, who fears the consequences of his actions, so does not act directly, but generally prefers to help the mobber or stalker.
- The sadist, who enjoys hurting a person to the point of destroying it.
- The terrified one, who, fearing the abilities of his colleague, wants to take away his functions or replace him to demonstrate better.
- The tyrant, who enslaves others with cruel methods.
- The envious , who tends to eliminate the most capable of him. Envy at work is born from the comparison and fear characteristic of negative or unstable self-esteem.
- The instigator , who is always looking for new evils.
We all encounter difficult colleagues at some point that we have to work with, whether we like it or not, and according to American Jody J. Foster, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, classifying people has an advantage, precisely because people People with similar character traits tend to act in similar ways. " If you can understand it , if you can - I'm not saying - diagnose, but grasp the common characteristics, you live better .
What to do if my coworkers ignore me
What to do when your coworkers don't like you, ignore you or reject you? Everyone may have had, during their working life, conflicts or problems, a situation in which we saw no way out: a boss who dispenses reproaches without listening to reasons, suffering some joke from colleagues or being ignored by them almost as if we were not there. Not being seen or ignored is an extremely distressing experience for both children and adults, since it is precisely a reflection in the eyes of another that the individual can know himself and his identity. Sometimes it is worse to be ignored than yelled at and punished.
In addition to the emotional pain of rejection, being withdrawn, ignored, relieved makes us feel bad, for example, negatively influencing mood and self-esteem , or making us feel angry and "disconnected" in our sense of belonging. After a rejection, we can become very critical of ourselves or ourselves, and that is without a doubt the worst damage we can do to ourselves, because it damages us psychologically and emotionally.
Feeling rejected or being rejected are quite common painful experiences, but fortunately there are strategies to avoid falling and quickly regain emotional control, below we will see how to act when you are emptied at work:
- Avoid criticizing yourself when you are already emotionally ill . Let's avoid making the list of our mistakes and our faults: rather, let's evaluate the facts, what has happened and what we can do in the future as different, better.
- Remember that you have good resources and qualities that you can express to the fullest. We must remind ourselves of what we have to offer, our personal worth; we have to support ourselves by using and affirming valuable parts of us. We can start, for example, from a list of the 5 best qualities we have from the point of view of relationships or professional skills: it is an emotional first aid that makes us regain confidence in ourselves and reduce the level of moral pain. In this article you will find information on how to work on self-esteem .
- Pay attention to those who love you and give them your sincere feelings . As social animals, we need to belong to a group of people who appreciate and recognize us, but if colleagues despise us and, for example, do not eat with us, we can always do it with a friend or with other colleagues: for someone who rejects us, there is always someone who appreciates and loves us, making us feel rooted.