Can you love two people at the same time?

Can you love two people at the same time?
In popular culture, love has been traditionally related to unconditional union with another person, who loves, respects, desires and accepts above all. We are all familiar with the great romantic ideas about the soulmate, the half soul, your other half. However, today there are more and more voices advocating other ways of conceiving love and relationships.

Perhaps one of the best known is the one that shows that no person is able to meet all the emotional and sexual needs of another, so they would turn to several people to cover them.

That is, they advocate the existence of several loves. We are talking about polyamory, but what exactly is it? Can you love two people at the same time?Is polyamory for people who don't commit? In we tell you.


Polyamory is a form of “non-monogamy” agreed by all parties through which women and men establish intimate, emotional and / or sexual relationships with several people at the same time. Polyamory is different from other forms of open relationships, such as the exchange of partners, which implies that couples have occasional sexual relations outside the relationship, specifically without any emotional bond. Often, it is also confused with polygamy, a practice in which an individual marries several people at the same time.

The people who practice polyamory may or may not be married, but the fundamental difference is that polygamy is often practiced as polygyny, ie, when a man marries multiple sets women. Generally, in these relationships, women are not allowed to have additional male partners and are prohibited from having sex with each other. Polyamory, in contrast, allows women to have multiple partners , as do men. In addition, polygamy is often closely linked to religion, which may or may not be present in the case of polyamory.

Can you be in love with two people at the same time?

In the previous section, we have established the basic differences between polyamory, couples exchange and polygamy. Thus, as has been said, in order to establish several polyamorous relationships, knowledge and consent of all the parties involved are necessary and that certain levels of intimacy occur in all of them. In this section, the goal is to go one step further: can you be in love with two people at the same time? Can you be in love with two men at the same time? Can you be in love with several people at once without betraying any?

One of the fundamental characteristics of polyamory is that the idea of exclusivity is rejected, and any member of the relationship can have multiple partners of any gender . This idea clashes frontally with the widely spread romantic notions in Western society related to fidelity, loyalty and commitment. When we turn our backs on other potential lovers, we are confirming to our partner how special it is for us. In a world where it is so simple to be fired, lose friendships, forget relationships, go unnoticed, etc. Monogamy acquires an importance unequaled: you confirms that at the end of the day, yes you are special, at least for your partner.

However, polyamory advocates call into question the romantic ideals related to monogamy, manifesting the following paradox: as the need for fidelity intensifies, so does the impulse towards infidelity. The burden of delegating all our emotional needs and sexual desires would be unassuming for a single person. Thus, one of the main arguments that polyamory advocates use is the notion that the emotional and sexual needs of some people could be better met with more than one person. This would also work in reverse, relieving the pressure of having to meet all the needs of another person. Thus, a jaded relationship could find renewed energy and air.

In this way, people involved in polyamorous relationships can be in love with two people at the same time , to the extent that each couple makes different contributions, contributing to their emotional bond, while there is space between them, since the couple is involved with a third party, which encourages desire.

Can you love two people at the same time?

Much of the society that rejects the idea of ​​polyamide frontally calls into question that people can fall in love with several people at the same time. Is it possible to love two people at once and not be crazy? How is it possible to maintain several relationships at the same time? How is it possible to commit to more than one person?

According to Stenberg's theory , love would have three basic components: intimacy, passion and commitment.
  • Intimacy is related to proximity, connection and emotional ties.
  • Passion refers to the intense desire and union with the other couple.
  • The commitment is the element by which the couple decides to remain united in the long term.
Thus, polyamory advocates argue that it would be possible to sustain several relationships at the same time in which the three characteristics cited occur. To do this, they establish a fundamental difference between sexual fidelity and emotional commitment. In this way, there would be a significant commitment in many polyamorous relationships, but not exclusively. They achieve this by investing large amounts of time and effort to maintain such healthy relationships, trying to learn even new communication skills, analyzing their problems and actively seeking satisfactory solutions.

Therefore, communication is the fundamental pillar on which they rely, because they need to handle possible jealousy as they arise, as well as clearly define their limits. Polyamorous people commit to treat each other well, to tell themselves the truth, to help each other grow and sustain themselves in difficult times. Its defenders show that polyamory demands more words than the traditional relationship, since they spend a lot of time explaining themselves, telling each of their partners their feelings and everything that happens.

Thus, through polyamory, the people involved state that it is possible to love several people at the same time , because this way of linking helps to significantly eliminate what Dan Savage points out as inconveniences of monogamy: boredom, despair, lack of variety, "sexual death" and take the other person for granted.

Choose between two people?

A frequent question regarding polyamory is whether it is a form of experimentation, in which a person knows several for a period of time, and then choose a partner: with whom he has formed a bond of greater intensity, have more things in common, can establish future plans, etc. The answer to this question, according to its defenders, is no. Polyamory is based on the absence of ranks , that is, there are no first or second places, in order to try to prevent rivalries and jealousy problems , since everyone would be clear about their contribution to the relationship.

Does polyamory work?

Polyamory is a way of understanding love relationships , which gives way to people who do not feel comfortable in traditional models that do not cover the enormous variety of sexual and gender diversity that exists today. If polyamory works, as with any other relationship, it depends on the people involved and how they are managed. Thus, polyamory is not for everyone. It can be a complex and intense relationship style that requires time and dedication to maintain. Many people may prefer simplicity, security and exclusivity of monogamy.