The family is one of the most important pillars of happiness. In fact, having a good relationship with loved ones brings well-being at the individual level. But, in turn, family relationships are also complex in their nuances. Perhaps at some point you have experienced a feeling of rejection towards some people in your immediate environment.
"Why is my family ashamed?"; If you are concerned about this issue, in Transkerja.com we share with you the frequent causes of this insecurity that determines your own level of happiness by giving excessive influence to the opinion of others.
Causes you are ashamed of your familyEach situation has its own characteristics, for this reason, it is recommended that you enhance your own introspection to find your own answer. What factors can influence this emotional perception?
Personal insecurityIn many cases, this feeling of shame does not refer to possible shortcomings of the family environment but to the own insecurity of those who project around them their own fear of not receiving social acceptance. In this way, a person who cares excessively about what others think usually gives excessive importance to the opinion that others may have about their own family.
The protagonist may feel insecure when he goes with his family to a social event because he is distressed by that first impression that his family can cause before others.
In this type of situation, when the feeling of shame is born from insecurity, the person also suffers a constant internal struggle between an ideal family concept built in his mind, and reality itself. The protagonist can idealize the family environment of someone close and compare his own family from a position of inferiority in relation to some qualities.
Observe defects and negative aspectsWhen a person constantly focuses on the weaknesses of their loved ones, they end up developing a feeling of rejection towards those people who do not meet their own expectations. In reality, the conflict lies in the fact that the protagonist does not accept his family as he is, and wants to change some of his behaviors. The feeling of shame is a direct consequence of that lack of unconditional acceptance. In this other article we tell you why you feel rejection towards your mother .
When a child observes his parents and close relatives, he truly admires them. Look at your family reality from a prism of absolute perfection. However, within the process of maturity, the adult experiences a break with respect to that previous image and observes those parents whom he had previously idealized from a more human level. Know your flaws. Those children who do not assume this fact and expect constant perfection may become ashamed when they observe their family from their own prejudices.
They keep treating you like a childThis is a possible situation. You love your family very much, in turn, you also feel loved by them, however, in many moments you miss respecting your own space and understanding that you have your own life. That is, you feel that you are childish and this makes you feel ridiculous when those gestures of overprotection occur in public.
At that moment, you feel ashamed, simply, because you are treated like a child even though you are already an adult. And you consider that this situation is totally out of context because as an adult you aspire to a peer to peer bond.
Natural process of adolescenceAdolescence shows a new personal reality of the young man who from his position feels more identified with his group of friends who give him the value of belonging, than with his family. In this way, the adolescent can feel shame in everyday situations that in childhood he lived with total naturalness. For example, if parents come to look for him when they leave school they may not react with the same joy as before.
This feeling is totally natural since the adolescent is in a moment of his life in which he is forming his own identity, and therefore, seeks his own place in the world. At this stage, it is common for young people to prefer leisure plans with friends, and participate in fewer family activities. At this stage, parents represent that authority figure that sets limits and norms to their own personal desires.
Adolescence is one of the stages of life in which young people are most vulnerable to social stereotypes and group opinion. For this reason, they are not only worried about their own image, but also, the image that their family offers to their immediate surroundings.
There is an important nuance in any of the cases described above. Generally, those who are ashamed of their family suffer this feeling in the public sphere, not in the private sphere.
Tips not to be ashamed of your familyThe feeling of shame is painful because in most cases, people feel guilty about it. How to overcome this situation?
- Look at everything your family has done for you. Do a mental review of the most important moments of your life and see how many of your loved ones have always been there. Beyond their personal defects or deficiencies, they have shown you the most important thing. When you put the truly significant value of the family in the balance, possible secondary aspects remain in the background.
- You have your own identity and value outside your family. When a person is ashamed of his family, he struggles to show that he is different from other members of the system. However, you do not have to work so hard to show that you are different since, by your own personality, you are in a natural way.
- You can't like everyone, nor can your family always please everyone. Try to free yourself from the slavery of the search for constant acceptance. Try to be free about this fact to understand that those people who really appreciate you value your family beyond defects or first impressions.
- When you are ashamed of your family, you are also ashamed of a very important part of yourself . Try to invest the time you lose with this feeling of insecurity, in fostering the bond with your loved ones through common activities. In this way, you give yourself the opportunity to build new memories.