Sometimes, the affairs of the heart become a riddle that produces pain to those who do not understand why their sentimental history is marked by experiences that repeat a similar pattern of unrequited love and disappointment.
It is in these cases, in which the affective implication derives in the disappointment for having deposited expectations in someone who does not correspond in the same way, when the protagonist can reflect on whether this repeated circumstance is the result of chance or to some extent influences with his attitude in his own situation.
Why do I fall in love with someone who does not love me? In Transkerja.com, we tell you.
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You protect yourself against the disappointment of a real loveWhen you fall in love with a person that does not belong to you, that relationship is within the framework of the ideality of everything that you have imagined, dreamed and recreated in your mind about this possible future relationship. However, you have not experienced the obstacles that arise around a real courtship.
In the plane of your mind, you feel safe because you control what happens, however, when you involve yourself in a real love with a person who corresponds to you in the same way, you assume the uncertainty of feeling vulnerable because there are aspects that transcend your own control.
Therefore, if you recurrently delude yourself with people who do not belong to you, it is possible that, for some reason, you are protecting yourself from the fear of suffering in a relationship.
You turn love into a constant challengeIt can also happen that you look at people who do not belong to you, placing high expectations in that relationship, because you position yourself before that reality as a personal challenge. That is to say, you convert this sentimental goal into a way of reaffirming your own value. Something that is associated with a low or unstable self-esteem that conditions you especially because it leads you to feel that you are more or less special depending on what that person feels for you.
You can feel this challenging experience with people who, for some reason, are not emotionally available to engage in a stable relationship. For example, someone who has a partner. There are also other types of obstacles, for example, getting involved with someone who lets you know that in just a few weeks he moves to live miles away.
When you experience repeated situations of this kind, in a way, you behave as if real love was only possible in a context in which it is important to overcome great obstacles from the beginning. In addition, from this perspective, when you know a person and the story flows naturally, you lose interest in this absence of stimuli.
Maybe, you want to fall in love with all your strength, however, you also fear to live this experience as soon as it means leaving outside your comfort zone. In addition, this emotional contradiction leads you to live at the crossroads of looking for stories that are doomed to failure from the beginning.
Rationalize love to avoid idealization"Why do I fall in love with someone who does not love me?" If you ask yourself this question, it is very important that you assume your own ability to guide the feeling to avoid getting involved more in a relationship in which the signs of indifference are clear.
That is, a person may have called your attention at first and be interesting, however, if you observe any data or any circumstance for which you know that you should not get involved in that relationship because you are about to live something again for what you have already gone through, it is advisable that you distance yourself and let that initial emotion cool down instead of feeding the illusions with more romantic feelings.
Therefore, if you have gone through this situation on more than one occasion, learn to be practical and not focus your energy on an impossible story.