Mother and child relationships are complex and are conditioned by the difficulties of this emotional bond. Love is the main feature of this tie. However, there are also examples of toxic relationships between mother and child, situations in which the mother is not a positive influence for him.
It is rare for a person to ask himself this question: “Why does my mother hate me so much?" However, for whom this question is asked, this question can be very painful because few experiences hurt as much as the rejection of a mother prolonged in time. In Transkerja.com we talk about this issue.
My mother makes me feel badWhen a child asks why his mother does not love him, he should not feel responsible for this fact. Actually, this situation is talking about that person's own inability to show their affection in a positive way. It is very possible even that what he feels is not hate, however, his son perceives this resentment or indifference as such.
Each person shows the relationship they have with themselves through the link established with others. For this reason, in a relationship as intimate and emotional as that of mother and child, internal shortcomings and unresolved knots emerge that show the work of inner growth that person must perform. Perhaps, the difficulty in giving love to a mother is related to the lack of love she had in her childhood.
Mothers who have not wanted to beSome mothers may have difficulty developing that feeling of attachment and special bond if they have not really wanted to have a child. Unconditional acceptance of a child occurs even before birth through the desire of motherhood. However, those who did not have mothers in their plans may feel that this change in their life script has significantly affected their own expectations.
The care, time and dedication that a child requires can become a reason for dissatisfaction for that person who internally had a different plan for his own life. From this perspective, the child becomes the visible memory of those dreams, goals and objectives pending fulfillment. That is, the person observes this personal renunciation as a burden.
Some people have been mothers for reasons that are more linked to the social conventions of age than by an internal conviction. However, the complexity of this feeling is profound since many people censor it and do not recognize it as such.
My mother despises me for envyThe feeling of envy can also be projected into such a relationship when a rivalry arises. Metaphorically, the role of the children of narcissistic parents has been represented in the tales of Snow White or Cinderella.
It may seem infrequent for a mother to envy her children, however, the complexity of this interpersonal relationship is also shown in the fact that some mothers observe themselves in the fate of their daughters, that is, they do not assume that they are independent beings to make their own lives and make their own decisions.
Actually, they deposit in their daughters those dreams and youth projects that they had with the desire to be able to live that pending subject. However, if the daughter does not give in to her aspirations and remains true to her own decisions, this may cause her mother to take this situation as a personal rejection.
"Why does my mother hate me so much?", If at any time you ask yourself this question, she thinks that it is very possible that in reality that is not the exact feeling but that it can be another type of internal lack. However, although motherhood is usually spoken from the ideal of the perfect, not all mothers are good mothers.
Toxic and harmful mothersIn this concept of a toxic mother, the behavior of those mothers can be classified, which, through manipulation, perfectionism, emotional blackmail, victimization or any limiting attitude that damages the child's self-esteem, generates exhausting suffering.
A toxic mother is one who produces emotional pain in her child through repeated behavior and does nothing truly meaningful to change that situation by showing a lack of chronic empathy. That is, it is a pathological relationship that also makes her suffer.