Paternity implies considering every detail in the growth of the children. However, this is not always an easy task; empathize with the feelings of the little ones is something that many parents do not achieve. We present its consequences and how to avoid this lack.
When we talk about the emotional availability of parents, we refer to their ability to interpret their child's feelings. It is not just physical issues such as hunger or pain, but to be empathetic to see beyond.
We live in a world in which many things are overlooked. The constant stimuli that we receive from electronic devices -which bring us closer to the distant but distance us from the immediate- have reduced our capacity for observation.
Unfortunately, children are often victims of this variation in habits. It is because the emotional availability of parents is not always, what it should be.
Therefore, their problems and typical conflicts of each stage are overshadowed. Next, we will go deeper into these questions.
Why is the emotional availability of parents less?The absence or lack of emotional availability of parents can find their origin in various reasons. One of them, perhaps the most important, has to do with parental competences. This is the inability of parents to care for their children; it can occur due to mental health problems, traumas, addictions or cases of depression.
Another important factor is the degree of attachment between the father and the child. If the parent has a negative idea of his baby, whatever the reason, he will hardly manage to empathize with him.
Something that must be considered is that emotional availability does not depend on the social class of the family. It has been detected in low-income families as well as in the more affluent.
Finally, the characteristics of the child should also be considered. They may have complications to understand their children parents of infants with the following disadvantages:
- Birth with low weight or premature due to having been exposed to toxic substances such as alcohol.
- Condition of a health problem.
- Difficult temperament, whatever its origin.
Effects of the lack of emotional availability of parentsIn the 2005 Longitudinal Study of Minnesota, the consequences of different types of child abuse were analyzed. In the thirty years that the research lasted, it was concluded that the lack of emotional availability of the parents was the main cause of the following problems:
- Severe depression
- Suicidal behavior
- Criminal incidence.
In small infants, feeling unprotected generates a constant stress very harmful to your brain. Thus, it loses the ability to focus on its full development, as it should happen. As a result, difficulties in learning can appear and problems related to language.
Later, in addition, this can seriously affect your self-esteem, your confidence and, what is even more serious; can lead to abusive behaviors over others. In the same way, it is expected that these young people replicate this precarious educational method when they reach adulthood.
"The emotional availability of parents is not always what should exist. Therefore, the typical problems and conflicts of childhood are obscured"
What is the emotional availability of the parents?If you want to offer your child the emotional attention he deserves, follow the following instructions:
- Be attentive to your signals and always try to welcome and give an appropriate response.
- Interrupt what you are doing to address their problems and offer solutions.
- Accompany it, but also respect your autonomy and privacy.
- Control your negative emotions Instead of showing anger or anger, try to be understanding and seek peaceful solutions.
Other solutionsIn addition to the unavoidable attitudinal change that must occur in the home, there are also other instances to resolve - at least partially - the negative effects of this problem.
The first one is professional consultation; this can occur at home or at a medical center. Likewise, the participation of the educator in the school can be of great help, since it is one of the references of children in their childhood.
Finally, it is also possible to take parental counseling courses. In them, parents are taught to interact, interpret and respond to the signals of their children; Strategies and other tools are also provided to facilitate these positive dynamics.
In one way or another, it is imperative that the emotional availability of parents be what their children deserve. Otherwise, there could be large decoupling in mental stability that would harm their long-term development.