The upbringing of children is a difficult task in which nobody seems to have the key. However, positive parenting is an educational approach that suggests that a good bond between parents and children is the best basis for correcting children's behavior. Discover in this article what positive parenting consists of and what its benefits are.
Being a parent is a challenge. Every day can be exasperating (especially with small children) and it is very difficult not to lose the papers when we are at the limit of patience. However, educating your children can become an easier and more enjoyable task, both for you and for them, thanks to the benefits of positive parenting.
What is positive parenting?Positive parenting, or positive parenting, is a philosophy based on the research of the focus on the future instead of the past. That is, the importance of learning (for the future) instead of punishing (past).
This philosophy, which combines education and discipline, emphasizes mutual respect between parents and children. Therefore, positive parenting not only requires the effort of both parties, parents and children, but also requires cooperation.
The doctor in educational psychology Jane Nelsen is an expert in positive parenting. Following the investigations of Adler and Dreikurs, she has written a series of paternity books and has designed a program for parents, based on positive parenting that teaches social skills through respect and discipline.
For Nelsen, being a father or mother with positive discipline means being kind and firm at the same time. This is effective in the long term, as it helps children feel a connection with their parents. Here lies the main characteristic of positive parenting: the connection consolidates a sense of belonging to the family.
- Mutual respect. Children deserve the same consideration as others. If we maintain an attitude of respect towards our children, we are teaching them, at the same time, a role model to follow with our example.
- Teaching social skills for good character. That is, teaching from empathy, concern for others and responsibility.
- Effective communication and problem solving skills.
- Discipline based on teaching. This does not mean that it is a permissive upbringing, but that discipline should not be punitive.
- Focus on finding solutions instead of punishing. It is more effective to reflect on the child than to focus on punishing him. Punishment can damage the family relationship and there is a risk that it may worsen the child's behavior. If you react to their behavior empathically, you will help your child focus on improving his behavior instead of getting angry with you.
Benefits of positive parentingPositive parenting helps build healthy relationships between parents and children, which would be the backbone of this approach. What is achieved with the consolidation of the parent-child bond is that the children want to cooperate on their own.
To create a healthy bond it is important that we congratulate our children when they act in an exemplary manner. Because what would happen if they see that they only get our attention when they misbehave? The conclusion is clear: they see punishment as a reward.
Positive parenting does not have to be a lack of discipline. That is to say, in this educational approach, the bad behavior must be detected and corrected, but it is done in a way that encourages the repetition of positive behavior, not avoiding punishment.
High self-esteemThe benefits of positive parenting are not only for children, but also for parents. Children, seeing that their parents are empathetic with their behavior, will feel more confident. Parents, on the other hand, to see how their skills help their children and, in turn, prepare them for a successful future, their self-esteem will be reinforced.
Stronger relationshipsPositive parenting facilitates the creation of strong bonds between parents and children, which promotes healthy relationships between both. That is, children who feel a close bond with their parents naturally want to please them and, therefore, strive to follow their advice and imitate their behavior.
"Many people think that discipline is the essence of parenting. But that is not paternity. To be a father is not to tell your child what to do when he misbehaves (...) is to provide the conditions to realize his human potential."
In short, the benefits of positive parenting can be observed in children both emotionally and behaviorally. In addition, parents also benefit, because they can educate with discipline without damaging family ties.
Those children who maintain strong ties with their parents feel more confident when making decisions and relating in their social life. This translates into greater social competence and better mental health. While, for their part, parents will feel more confident when it comes to educating our children through empathy and respect.