Oddly enough, there are cases in which a mother is not able to give the love that her son or daughter needs. This lack of affection translates into children with attachment problems and poor mental stability.
When we are little, we are not able to distinguish exactly this problem, but over the years we can feel that our mother does not love us. It can be very hard to realize that our own mother does not feel as much affection as we would.
Sometimes, it is only a subjective sensation after a fight or a distancing, however, it can turn out to be a reality that we will have to face in the best possible way. If in your head you cannot get rid of the thought " I feel that my mother does not love me: what do I do? ", We invite you to read the following Transkerja.com article.
Why do I feel that my mother does not love me?As we have commented previously, we may feel that our mother does not love us because we have argued with her or have distanced ourselves for other reasons. Perhaps, we have become independent recently and our mother tries to overcome the empty nest syndrome and, for that reason, does not contact us so much.
It is also normal to feel that your mother does not love you when you are a teenager. At that time of our lives many frictions arise between the family and it is difficult to maintain a relationship free of discussions. When we are teenagers , we tend to feel misunderstood by our families and that is why we may think they do not love us.
However, we must not completely rule out the possibility that the feeling of "my mother does not love me" is not entirely a lie. This perception of detachment can produce in us a feeling of dissatisfaction, low self-esteem and a strong emotional void. There are mothers who have not really developed a close bond of attachment with their sons and daughters and they notice, there are mothers with toxic, manipulative behaviors, competitive mothers.
In order to leave behind the pain of thinking that your mother does not love you, we must assume that such behaviors exist in certain family figures. Denying it only blocks our emotions and is somewhat counterproductive in the long term. Once we have accepted that our mother does not love us as we would like, we can develop our own strengths and we will be able, in time, to get ahead.
How to know if your mother doesn't love youIn order to know if the thoughts we have are only sensations or our mother really does not love us, we must learn to identify a toxic mother . Although they can act in several ways, they usually meet several of the following characteristics:
- Criticize everything you do or say
- Judge your opinions and don't give them the value they deserve
- He is rarely happy with your company and is unpleasant
- You feel that he is continually competing with you, trying to show more achievements in his life or more happiness.
- Try to manipulate yourself so you feel bad about everything you do in your life
- He tells you openly that he doesn't love you
- Compare your physique and always try to show yourself better in that aspect
- Criticize your lifestyle and your partner
- Try to put yourself in a victim position and blame yourself for all evil
The toxic progenitor syndromeIn the event that, in fact, our mother does not feel affection for us, we may face a case of toxic parent syndrome. These cases are characterized by being mothers with low or no interest in exercising their maternal role. It is possible that this syndrome develops in women who did not really want to be mothers but, for other people's reasons, could not interrupt the pregnancy.
It is true that for many people, being a mother is a gift and something that we must thank forever. However, motherhood involves great pressures and social expectations that some women cannot reach. The mother's social role pigeonholes enormously and can cause very significant wear on the emotional bond between the children and the parent.
Consequences of toxic progenitor syndromeAs we can predict, the consequences of a toxic bond between mother and child can be enormously unpleasant. For sons and daughters, it involves a sense of detachment that they may drag for the rest of their lives. It is likely that they do not easily get rid of the thought of " I feel that my mother does not love me " and this idea can lead to enormous insecurities at the time of establishing new personal relationships. In addition, these children often grow up with self-esteem problems and even indirect self-destructive behaviors and personality disorders.
As for the toxic mother , she is in a confusing situation. On the one hand, she has no interest in providing care and affection for her sons and daughters and prefers to organize her life around herself. On the other hand, you may feel that your environment greatly rejects your lifestyle and, as a consequence, feels forced to take care of your children in some way.