I don't trust my son: what do I do?I don't trust my son: what do I do?
One of the biggest concerns of parents is that children may suffer at some time in their lives and have a really bad time. Obviously, all parents want the best for their children and it is clear that they would also love that they never had problems and that their life was filled only with good things and happiness. However, it is also true that it is impossible to solve their lives and that finally they have to learn to deal with their problems and make their own decisions.
In this Transkerja.com article: I don't trust my son, what do I do? We are going to give you a series of tips that if you start putting them into practice in your day to day, they will undoubtedly improve your perception of your child and, finally, you will be able to trust him more over time.
Sometimes I feel that I don't trust my sonIf you ask yourself, " I don't trust my son, what do I do? " That refusal to trust.
- Overprotection If you have overprotected your child all his life and have always solved his problems to avoid bad times or simply because you thought he could not solve them, it is normal that over time your child has become accustomed to it and does not know how to do it charge of it and take responsibility for your own actions.
- Destructive criticism. The fact of constantly judging your child, as well as his actions and thoughts, causes him to feel undervalued and accepted. Therefore, he is more likely to act in a way that even he himself would not want. It is possible that the child may come to think that you do not love him or even that you hate him and that many of his unsafe behaviors are rooted in such thoughts.
- Need for control Another reason why you cannot trust your child and the decisions he makes is that you have a strong unconscious need to continue controlling his life. This need for control is masked by a strong desire to help you solve everything so that you "do not suffer", however, it is also something that gives you a certain security that you think you are lacking.
How to avoid refusing to trust your childIf you would like to really change this situation, stop thinking " I don't trust my son, what do I do " and start trusting your son, you have to make an effort to achieve it since you have surely been many years without doing it, so It will cost you a little more. This does not mean that it is impossible, it only requires willpower and putting into practice this series of tips that we are going to give you below:
- Patience: This is the fundamental key for you to begin not only to trust your child, but also to have a better relationship with him. So it is necessary that every time you feel that you are going to explode or want to answer or act in an impulsive way, remember how important patience is. All people live at a different rate, your child can not think or act as you do, so you have to learn to adapt to your own process and be patient.
- Release control. Stop pretending to have everything under control and want everything to be perfect to avoid discomfort and suffering for your child. Your child has the right, like you, to make his own mistakes and have his own life experiences, which will undoubtedly help him grow and mature as a person. So relax and let him live what he has to live, do not want to be behind him all the time because it is extremely exhausting and practically impossible.
- Give it time. Taking into account that each person goes at their own pace and lives their own process, it is necessary that you understand that he is experiencing his and needs to be respected.
Tips to improve confidence in children
- Your son is not perfect. Do not want to pretend that your child does everything perfectly and never or almost never wrong. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect and that your child is going to be wrong the times he has to do it because it is part of his life learning. You are not perfect, nor do you have to be, so avoid having that as your goal.
- Active listening. An excellent way to approach your child and learn to trust him is to learn to really listen to him. Active listening is essential to have a good relationship with other people. Whenever your child wants to communicate something to you, forget to impose your own reasoning and prejudices about the situation and better focus on what he is telling you. It is as if at that moment, what your son is telling you is the most important thing you could be listening to.
- Psychological therapy. If, despite the attempts you have made to trust your child, you still do not succeed and feel that things have gotten worse, you need to assist with a professional to help you determine what really happens to you and, Of course, you can give a solution to this problem according to your particular situation.