How to manage sibling fights

How to manage sibling fights
The conflict between brothers is a fairly common situation that appears in almost all families with two or more children, but for parents often can generate anguish and frustration at not knowing how to react to it.

In these cases, what can be done is to help them manage the fights so that they learn to resolve those conflicts and differences that arise in their daily lives so that they can continue to develop new social skills which will even be reflected in their future life. In this article we are going to give you some tips so you know how to manage sibling fights.

6 tips to learn to manage sibling fights

I hope that all parents wish that such fights never existed and that their children get along all the time, peacefully and empathically, the reality is that in the vast majority of cases it is not so and this does not have to Be something alarming.

Keep in mind that siblings have a fairly close relationship since they are sharing all day and have a life in common, so it is normal that at any time the conflict arises as it would happen to any adult who shares their Day by day with another.

So it is clear that as parents you can not do anything against that since it is practically impossible to avoid the fights between them, which even to some extent are healthy since it helps them increase their capacity for empathy and learn in this way to Respect and know how to manage conflicts with other people.

  1. Do not view the conflict as something negative. What usually happens every time conflicts between siblings begin is that parents begin to get stressed and even more and more angry if the situation is not fixed immediately. Keep in mind that conflicts are part of life itself and that more than focusing on avoiding them, more attention should be given to how to deal with them. We must accept that conflicts exist and learn to resolve them naturally from calm and understanding.
  2. E nfocarse in the solution and not the problem. Children must be helped so that from a young age they learn to focus their attention on solving the problem and not on the problem itself that would not help at all.
  3. And vitar judge the children. A mistake that many parents make when educating their children is that every time a conflict arises between them they tend to take the place of judges and evaluate the situation in such a way that they make clear who is to blame, they evidence it and leave at a disadvantage to the other. This eventually generates a lot of rivalry and conflict between them. What should be done rather, as mentioned in the previous advice is to try to resolve the conflict in the best way and avoid seeking guilty or focusing all the attention on the problem.
  4. Active listening. It is necessary that parents, rather than talk and judge children, really learn to listen to them and help them solve their problems and concerns. Part of the conflicts that arise between siblings are indirectly caused by inefficient listening by parents.
  5. Establish rules and limits. You should always establish at home rules that must be followed and that are aimed at fostering values such as respect, love, companionship, etc. For example, insults, aggressions, abuse, teasing, among other negative attitudes should be strictly prohibited. Of course parents should be the first to set the example for the little ones.
  6. Help them express what they feel. Children should be taught every time they are in the midst of a sibling conflict to identify and express what they really feel. That is, instead of acting on the impulse and the supposed anger they have at that time and say something hurtful or hit the brother, they should be taught to better express what they really feel. Anger almost always hides sadness so that instead of expressing anger and anger as such, they should be taught to stop and communicate, in this case what made them feel sad. This is achieved with practice and also helps to generate more respect and empathy between siblings.

In this other article we discover how to avoid envy between siblings by giving you some good advice that is worth taking into account.

What NOT to do to manage sibling fights

In addition to following the above tips to try to manage the fights between your children, take note of this series of things that it is important that you do NOT do so that over time the fights do not increase or simply that they are not managed properly.
  • Losing patience and acting or telling them impulsively.
  • Simply tell them to stop fighting.
  • Try to convince them to be calm and return to play normally.
  • Telling them how bad you feel each time they fight and that the fact that they do it can have serious consequences such as getting sick, that "you get a heart attack", among other things that parents invent to children because of the frustration they feel at that moment.
  • Judge any of them and make him the culprit.
  • Tell them that if they fight they won't love them anymore.