There are people who seem to put you invisible barriers to approach them, no matter how many times you try you do not get it. You can have conversations that lead nowhere (or even that because they may not feel like speaking and don't answer you). It is also possible that you meet people with whom you can share many moments of your life but when it comes to emotionally entering ... that person suddenly closes in a band and as if he had a shell it is impossible to reach it.
Does this sound like I told you? If someone around you is coming to your head right now, it is very likely that you are dealing with an emotionally distant person, something that can have a negative impact on your relationship if you do not know what you are facing. In this Transkerja.com article we are going to discover how emotionally distant people are so you can learn to relate to them.
What is an emotionally distant personPeople who are emotionally distant tend to put a great distance between themselves and themselves, so they tend to look like cold people who do not care about their surroundings any more than they do. This type of people, in addition to putting emotional barriers very difficult to transfer, find it difficult to establish emotional ties only to avoid having to approach anyone emotionally and thus not feel vulnerable.
It is possible that if you know someone with these characteristics you also observe that he lacks empathy (or at least he seems), he will be very critical almost without compassion and they also like to isolate themselves and spend time alone . Wanting to spend time alone does not make you introverted because in this case it is the choice of the person to be distant, an introverted person in turn simply need time to show how they really are without emotional barriers.
Because they are so?People who are emotionally distant always are because of something that has happened to them in the past, probably because of failed emotional relationships in their most important bonds, either because of a bad relationship with their parents, their siblings or people from their most intimate environment in their first years of life or in his childhood.
This will make very important and painful marks on the soul, which will cause this person to close in a band so as not to be damaged again , looking like a cold person. For this reason they do not communicate their feelings and hide all their emotions to the point that they seem to lack them. But it is not really so, it is only a shell so that they are not harmed.
How to talk to an emotionally distant personAs we have seen, an emotionally distant person often has a barrier that prevents people from entering their emotions and, therefore, taking advantage of their vulnerability. These barriers are usually created almost unconsciously as a kind of defense mechanism that prevents them from harming you, again.
Therefore, really speaking with a person with these characteristics can be complicated but not impossible. It is important that you earn your trust and that, above all, you show yourself as an understanding person with good intentions.
Here we will give you some tips that will allow you to get closer to these people and establish healthy and true relationships :
- Start in your comfort zone : if you want to talk openly with an emotionally distant person it is important that you start stealthily. Do not go straight to the point, but start talking about topics with which you know that you feel comfortable and safe. As the conversation flows, then you can start to introduce yourself to the real topic you want to deal with, not before.
- Practice empathy : the best tool at your fingertips for that person to trust you and open up completely is empathy. Putting yourself in your skin, trying to speak from your point of view and without claims will help you create that authentic and sincere connection between you.
- Do not press : a person who is distant and who has barriers does not want to be pressed, therefore, he respects his time and his own limits. Do not want to scratch or cause it to be as you want it to be. It is like that, respect it and try, from your reality, to improve your relationship step by step.
Emotionally distant couple: what to do?
In the event that the emotionally distant person is your partner, then it is important that you take into account a series of tips that will help you improve your relationship and create a stronger bond. To do this, in Transkerja.com we will give you these tips:
- Try to understand : it is important that you do not impose yourself on your partner, that you understand and respect her. Do not want to change him, just try to communicate with him or her to make your relationship healthier and stronger. But never, never, judge him or press him. Little by little, you will see that it will open to you and that it will be expressed more easily. But give it time.
- Talk to yourself and communicate your feelings : to have a good relationship with an emotionally distant partner it is recommended that you lead by example. That is, instead of waiting for him to speak to you, do it yourself and express yourself openly. Creating this type of relationship and conversation between you will help, little by little, your partner also be counting on you when you have a bad day or when there is something that worries you.
- Step by step: as we have already said, you cannot force a person with these barriers because the only thing you will get is to harass and overwhelm him. You have to go little by little and rejoice for every progress and every best you can achieve in your relationship. Anything goes!