7 Tips to know if you're boring someone7 tips to know if you're boring someone
In a movie I love, a peculiar documentary called March of Sherman, former high school teacher of the documentary says: "As people get older, they become more like them .. And that is getting more boring" I've never forgotten that. Like most people, probably, I have several favorite topics that I like to talk about topics - which are sometimes interesting to other people, and sometimes not. I do not mean happiness, or screening procedures at airports and buildings, or children's literature, or Winston Churchill, unless you really want to talk about it. (I manage to be very disciplined by not talking about my children too, except with the grandparents.)
I made a list of the signs to keep in mind, as indicators that someone could be bored. The fact that a person is not really moving away or changing the subject does not mean that person is really engaged in a conversation. One of the challenges is that the more sociable a person is, the better he or she is in hiding boredom. He is a rare person, however, who can really look fascinated while drowning a yawn.
These are the factors that I observe, when it comes to finding out if I am connecting with someone. These are absolutely unscientific - I'm sure someone has done an adequate study of this, but these are just my observations (mostly of noticing how I behave when I'm bored and trying to hide it):
1. Repeated, superficial answers.
A person who says: "Oh really? Oh seriously? That's interesting. Really? "It's probably not too committed. Or a person who keeps saying, "That's funny."
2. The simple questions.
People who are bored simple questions. "When do you move?" "Where to go?" People who are interested ask more complicated questions that show curiosity, not mere courtesy.
3. The interruption.
Although it sounds rude, interruption is actually a good sign, I think. This means that a person is full of saying something, and that shows interest. Similarly ...
4. Request for clarifications.
A person who is genuinely interested in what he is saying is needed to elaborate or explain. "What does that term mean?" "When exactly was that?" "Backup and tell me what happened in the first place" is the kind of questions that show that someone is trying to closely follow what you are saying.
5. Imbalance of speaking time.
I suspect that many people assume affection that they usually do eighty percent of the conversation in a conversation because people find it fascinating. Sometimes, it is true, a discussion implies a huge download of the information desired by the listener; that's a very satisfying kind of conversation. In general, however, people who are interested in a topic have things to say to themselves; They want to add their own opinions, information and experiences. If they are not doing that, they probably just want the conversation to end faster.
6. The position of the body.
People with a good connection usually turn totally to face each other. A person who is partially turned around, is not fully embracing the conversation. I pay special attention to the position of the body when I'm in a meeting and try to show (or pretend) interest: I sit in my chair forward, instead of resting my back, and keep my attention, obviously, focused on the that is spoken, instead of looking down on the papers, looking into space, or checking my phone.
On the same line, if you are a speaker trying to find out if the public is interested in what you are saying:
7. Hearing position.
Again in 1885, Sir Francis Galton wrote an article in 1885 called "The measurement of the agitated person." It was determined that people stay behind and bow when bored, so a speaker can measure the boredom of an audience to see how far vertically upright they are. In addition, attentive people restless less; Restless bored people more. A public that is upright and still interested, while a public that is horizontal and squirmy gets bored.
I often remind myself of the observation of La Rochefoucauld, "We are always bored by those to whom she gave birth." Maybe unfortunately, I do not think it's always true, but it's often true: If I'm bored, There is a good chance that the other person can be bored, too. Time to find a different topic.
Have you discovered any ways to know if you are bored? If you are worried about that, here are 7 topics that should be avoided if you do not want to take the risk of being a heavy one. What other strategies are used?