An expert in partner relations shares five signs that, for him, show when someone is not trying to have a real relationship but only someone who accompanies him:
1. Do not want to be aloneWhen someone does not want to be alone, he will do everything possible to avoid it. By having a relationship experience, without the real relationship, the person who fears being alone manages to fill the "vacuum of loneliness," with a real person and the idea of a relationship.
While some people have no interest in having a life partner and are very happy to be alone, others can not. But just because someone can not be alone, does not mean that they necessarily want a real relationship.
It means they are not emotionally available, but they may not realize it. If you do not realize, you can not expect you to notice them either.
2. You feel like an accessoryAlthough many people may like the idea of going into the room with the prettiest person on their arm or even being the prettiest person on the arm of another person, if that is what your relationship has to endure, then it is not the right thing and you must know it.
"If you discover that you are an accessory or a bracelet, the relationship is satisfying the euphoric need of a partner"
Again, this returns to fantasy versus reality. In reality, we are with people we see, people we want to know inside and outside, and people who offer our lives something more than a pretty face.
In fantasy, it's about the superficial, what looks good and how things look to others. It also helps to avoid the "emptiness of loneliness".
3. Se*x lacks an emotional interestWhen it comes to se*x and love, both can exist without the other, whether we want it or not.
Some people can love without se*x, while others can have se*x without love. But if you are in, or want to be in, a relationship that has everything, then love and se*x must be intertwined. For someone looking for just the relationship experience, entanglement is not necessary.
"When someone is satisfied with just one 'relationship experience' there is not a particularly strong emotional interest in the person, the depth of se*xual relationship."
4. Their past makes it impossible for them to have a real connectionOf course, we all have our problems, but some have more than others. Some of us have unbearable pasts that get in our way with any kind of healthy relationship, not just romantic.
For those who have that past, it is almost impossible that they can be one hundred percent present in a relationship, only superficially.
"The past can be too painful to function in a real relationship, most failures in past relationships are related to some unresolved pain caused by someone else that can make someone want to avoid real relationships altogether."
5. They are not aware of your concerns or feelingsIt is very difficult for one person to be aware of another at all times, but if there is interest, your partner will communicate with you in any way to know if you are okay or if something happened to you. When someone does not want a relationship, they do not look for time for this.
Someone who just wants a relationship experience is not worried about having to synthesize emotion, deal with emotion, attend to their needs or even address jealousy.